It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on my blog and to be completely honest, I haven’t had the desire to. I haven’t been able to focus on creating quality content because of all the life changes that has been happening recently. To be honest, it feels as if I’m in the season of my life where God is calling me to walk down a path that I’m not too comfortable going down. The thought of trying something outside of my comfort zone has never sat well with me so I don’t have peace about it at all. However, during one of my self-reflection moments where I attempted to understand why I sometimes fail to take the next step forward, God spoke to me and made me aware of something that I’ve been doing wrong for far too long.
Today I finally decided to be still. I call it the in-between state where I’m neither pessimistic or optimistic about what the future holds, but I am still hopeful that something major will happen. I made the decision to let go of this delicious pot of stew called my life in order to live the life that God desires me to live. A life of not just plain stew and meat, but a life where the two ingredients are paired with perfectly cooked rice and sprinkles of basil leaves.
If you don’t have Nigerian roots like I do, this analogy might sound a little confusing to you so let me break it down a little more. Rice and stew, as well as Jollof rice are both very highly favored dishes in my culture. But in my opinion, one is more of a luxury than the other. You can make rice and stew at any moment of the day but it takes time and patience to whip up the perfect pot of Jollof rice. And that’s exactly why it’s appreciated a little bit more. How I stumbled upon this analogy is surprising to me, but this weirdly is how I see life.
Rice and Stew is the life that most people are currently living. The one that can be obtained through the power of self motivation and mere raw talent. But the life lived for God is the one that you can’t just get from waking up in the morning. That’s the one where you have to approach the throne of grace time and time again in order to be able live out. That’s the life that requires a little bit more effort yet is far more valuable than the life lived outside of the will of God.
Like other believers, I’ve attempted to “let go and let God” for some time now but have failed to see the same results. I don’t believe in my heart that this is the desired reward for my submission. Feeling just “bleh” and not willing to put in any more effort, I decided to just let things be, which means walking down the path of familiarity until something finally happens. What a great way to start my Monday right?
No, it definitely was. See this feeling of complacency pushed me to listen to a podcast from The Potter’s Touch titled “Are you all in” in which T.D. Jakes preached about Ananias and his wife. If you’re not familiar with their story, they’re basically a couple in the Bible who thought they could cheat God and get away with it by only bringing forth a portion of the money they were instructed to collect. But the part that stuck out to me during T.D. Jake’s message was the segment where he started speaking about being “partially in” in regards to following the will of God. And that’s when God really started talking.
Before this point, I had admitted to God how I struggled with having peace about following the career path I believed He wanted me to pursue and He said, “Of course you don’t because you don’t know what my peace feels like.” WELLLLLL. As I picked my edges off the floor, He began to enlighten me about the potential reason why I haven’t been able to move forward. He made me aware of how I’ve only submitted part of my life to Him and the fact that I’ve kept the other half for myself. I subconsciously only take one leg off the boat just in case I have to flip myself back into the boat if God’s plan starts looking a little intimidating. He explained to me that I have an unhealthy desire to protect myself at all times and that’s what keeps me from completely jumping into the sea of the unknown. I apparatenly always give Him just enough where it appears that I’m being obedient without fully giving Him my all, forgetting that the same measure I sew is the same measure I’ll reap. Therefore, since I haven’t been willing to sew much, I can’t possibly expect to harvest much.
I told you this was a great way to start my week. So if you’ve been feeling discouraged and curious about why you don’t seem to be operating in God’s will, it’s time to check and see if you’ve been giving God your all. Maybe it’s time to stop and make sure you’re not hiding your part from God while simultaneously expecting Him to give you His. A shift has definitely happened in my life and my prayer for you is that your eyes are opened to see where the inefficiencies are coming from, if there is in fact one. If you desire for God to reveal a thing or two to you, don’t focus too much on how the word will come. God’s power can’t be limited so He is able to speak to you however and whenever He pleases. So keep your heart open.
Until next time,