You’d think that since I was the epitome of optimism during the storm that now that the storm is over, the optimism would still be there. But nope, it started to dwindle.
To explain my current state of being, I’m going to refer to the story of the mustard seed. To better clarify, in the bible, Jesus stated that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed then you can tell a mountain to move and it will move. Bringing it back to me, it feels like I’ve been walking this walk with my mustard seed of faith in my hand. Sometimes my grip is tight around it but sometimes my grip is lose enough for it to fall between my fingers.
But as I was thinking of the current state of things, I chunked my seed. It felt like nothing was working out. Reality was setting in and things were falling through the cracks. So I started getting frustrated with God. Then of course, that led to me remembering the plans I had for my life and how nothing was going as planned. Life didn’t make sense. I couldn’t remember why I was even writing or blogging. I felt so discouraged. I started remembering all the motivational posts I would see on Instagram and it all seemed to be lies. Posts like, “If God is making you wait, be prepared to receive more than you were asking for”, sounded like pure trash. Just to be honest.
But thankfully that mindset didn’t last long. After getting some sleep, I woke up in the morning feeling a little better. Well, better enough to desire to go and find my mustard seed lol. As I laid in bed, I remembered how bad I had felt the day before. I had no desire to do much anymore or even continue blogging. I just wanted to sit quietly and work as the days passed by. But God would not let that be my life.
For some reason, no matter how hard I tried to ignore the desires God had placed in my heart regarding my life, I couldn’t shake it. Instead the fire was re-ignited. I was reminded of how horrible I would feel if I looked back on this point in my life and how I had let it go to waste. Then I started realizing how blessed I was and how the enemy just wanted me to stay down so I would never walk the path that God designed for me.
So as I walk into September, I’m clutching my mustard seed tighter than ever. I’m reminded of the saying “the dream won’t work unless you do”. I’m gathering my supplies and making plans on how to fully get the best of what this month has to offer. This month will be the match that lights up the rest of my year. The lies of the enemy can’t hold me down unless I let it. Instead of getting frustrated at the little things that are disguised as big things, I’m learning to step back and look at the bigger picture.
But the biggest lesson I’ve learned from all of this is that being optimistic takes work. Don’t ever think that people are born happy, it’s a choice that is made each and everyday and I’m choosing to make that choice. I’m hoping to see the fruits of optimism and positivity by the end of this month. I’m willing to do the work that’s needed to rebuild. September is already here which means the year is almost over. But with God as my strength, there’s definitely time to build.
It’s time to make real plans! New months come with new attitudes and new attitudes bring new blessings. It’s time to have tangible results. It’s time to be proud of ourselves and the way we were created. It’s time to accept the fact that our lives are worth more than we could ever think or imagine. It’s time to rise up and draw the blueprints that will help us to bring about the life we’ve always wanted!