It’s hard to believe that September is just about over! Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was struggling to find the perfect image that would welcome in my most precious month? It’s amazing though, how God can work in such a short amount of time. Within this last week alone, I’ve addressed a struggle that somehow has allowed me the opportunity to better welcome yet another beautiful month.
I’ve never considered myself an apathetic person, but I must say that recently, I’ve allowed myself to succumb to the misfortunes of this world. Everything seemed to be happening at the same time. You’d see this and that on the news, then you’d switch and see this and that on social media. There seemed to be no escape. As if that wasn’t enough, I not only struggled with loving people for who they really are but also with accepting situations for what they are and not what they “should be”.
But of course, God refused to let me sit in the mist of sorrow and despair that I had created for myself. With the help of my beautiful community of family and friends, I was better able to identify the root of my problem. I realized that I disliked the idea of struggle and therefore was upset with God for putting me in multiple uncomfortable situations.
I wanted things to be a certain way but they weren’t, so I finally had enough. I found myself in a pit of despair and unbelief slowly began to creep into my heart. But having been given the task of “getting real” with God, I finally laid it out on the table. I dug up the secret feelings that I never really confronted and confessed to God how I really felt about His laws. For some reason, in the past, I used to feel as if confessing my inner most thoughts to God was taboo. But after being referred to David in Psalms 32 : 1-6, I learned that my thought process was far from the truth.
1 Oh, what joy for those
whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
2 Yes, what joy for those
whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,[b]
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
3 When I refused to confess my sin,
my body wasted away,
and I groaned all day long.
4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.
My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.Interlude
5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
6 Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time,
that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
It is important to be real with yourself and with God. True freedom only comes when you release all the dirt that has been clogging up your spirit and preventing you from growing. There are some days where I feel on top of the world and some where I just want to sit on the floor and contemplate life but I’ve learned that through it all, my joy has to come from the Lord. I have to learn that happiness in eternity trumps my temporary discomfort here on earth. I have to take my eyes off this life and it’s problems in order to better focus on the one that has yet to come.
So with tomorrow being the beginning of a new month, I can’t help but get excited about whatever might come my way. I refuse to allow the devil the privilege of playing with my emotions any further. Fear of struggle or misfortunes only occurs when we fail to surrender our life to He who created it. It’s in troublesome times that we really see the true strength of the Lord. And it’s when things are going well that we see His grace. But whatever happens, I pray that I always remember that his presence in my life is a gift. I pray that we never let our present trials and tribulations determine the extent of our love for God. Amen.
2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
James 1: 2-4