Making a blog was not a spur of the moment decision. It has been a will of God’s that’s been confirmed by various people and events in the past few years but like most people, I’m just now getting around to making it. But why? Why did it take me to so long to create a blog that I’ve longed to have for a while now? Why did I ignore a passion that God so clearly laid on my heart?
Well to start my problem is obviously disobedience. How many times has God whispered in a small voice for me to do something or say something and how many times have I ignored it thinking that it was my own voice that was speaking? How many times have I brushed off an idea because I didn’t see anything directly beneficial coming from it. It wasn’t until I randomly connected with a friend and was asked the question, “why are you so afraid of your own greatness?” was I even confronted with my disobedience. Shocked and amazed I thought ,” afraid of my own greatness, girl do you know who I am? I can’t be afraid of something that I already am”. Eventually, after having more talks with powerful people of God back to back, I could finally understand what she meant. It hit me like a brick, I WAS MY OWN ENEMY OF PROGRESS. My lack of obedience stemmed from the fact that I did not believe in the slightest bit that God was really talking to me. An insecurity that sprouted from not feeling worthy of being used by him. I thought these ideas that never seemed to go away were brought on by my own intellect and even then they seemed to farfetched to even entertain.
Nonetheless, like the phenomenal people who came before us, you and I both have to trust that who God made us to be is who we are. No one is really sure of where God is taking them but we have to learn to believe that our passions are not just random feelings that surface from time to time but are unmistakably given to us for a purpose greater than ourselves. We have to allow God the opportunity to show us how omnipotent He really is. We all have to stop delaying our progress and start seeing the good that can come from just doing what we’re suppose to do. We have to see non traditional opportunities as the true ultimate test of faith. But as for what will become of this blog, as of now I’m not really sure. But what I do know is that the fruits of obedience are sweeter than the doubts that cloud my judgements.